As I approached the Amnion center I was nervous. I didn't even know what to say even though I knew what I had gone there for. Mostly it was because I didn't know what to expect. As I waited for the results of my pregnancy test so many thoughts ran through my head. It only took a few seconds for the results to appear. While watching, my heart began to race. As soon as I saw that my pregnancy test was positive my thoughts became tangled, my heart had grown heavy and my eyes began to water.
The counselor could see the worry on my face. "What are you thinking about?" she asked. Nothing but negative thoughts were coming to mind. I took a pause then started blurting any and everything I was thinking to myself. "What was I going to do? How was I going to pay for this? How will I handle this? What would my parents say?" I stopped and just shook my head in shock. My mind continued to race, on and on from one scenario to the next. Why me, why now?
With a soft tone the counselor began to talk to me. While I sat in the chair and held back tears, I was told that there are many options out there for me. Money isn't an issue. Amnion, along with other facilities offer different classes, donated clothes, and baby furniture. She even gave me options as to how I should go about breaking the news to my parents, which was helpful. She told me I could always come back for counseling if I wanted someone to talk to, I needed help with anything or if I decided not to carry the baby to full term. I began wiping my tears and feeling a bit better. After our discussion, the counselor offered to pray with me. We came in closer and began to pray.
Leaving, still unsure of what my final decision was I decided to schedule an appointment with my OBGYN to see how far along I was. My doctor then had me schedule an ultrasound. I was told to drink a couple bottles of water a half hour before the appointment. I met my boyfriend at the hospital and we waited in the waiting room for the ultrasound technician to call my name. My bladder was full of liquid and my palms were moist. I was so nervous I could barely say a word.
When the doctor called my name we followed her into the room. While I laid back for the doctor to put the cold gel on my belly, I took a deep breath. I became worried because it seemed like it was taking a while for the technician to find the baby. I was starting to think I lost it. Then a few short minutes later there it was. "Boom, boom, boom, boom" My babies heart was as fast as a techno beat. My boyfriend and I both looked at each other and exchanged facial expressions as if to say "there it is". Hearing my baby's heart beat made MY heart skip a beat. I was in shock but also happy to hear it. I looked at the monitor and could finally see different parts of the baby. "Would you like to know the sex?" The technician asked. I immediately responded "YES!" and I began biting my lip. The technician began to move all around my belly, squishing my sides trying to get the little one to move so she could get a better look. "It's a girl" she said. I became overwhelmed and began to smile. After I left the hospital I knew there was no turning back. I felt better and surer about carrying to term.
After my ultrasound I had gone home to tell my mom the news. As I got closer to my house, I was nervous, but then I remembered that the counselor prayed for me and had prayed for this day that was moments away. When I told my mom the news she was surprised like I expected she would be. Over time I could see her getting excited just as much as I was. Every day that I wake up I know that I have made the right decision. I continue to tell myself I can do this, my body was made for this and I am going to be a great mom. I thank Amnion for helping me cope with my decision and giving me encouragement. I am grateful for their warm, loving comfort, as well as their prayers and supportive counseling I received. I cannot wait until I finally get to bring my bundle of joy home. Life is precious and I will cherish the life of my new born baby.